Conversations With 7 Year Olds

Me: "I don't need you trying to tell everyone what to do. Last time I checked, I'm the oldest one in the family. That's my job."

Him: "Nuh uh. Dad's the oldest."

Me: "Nope. I'm older than daddy."

Him: "But you're not even taller than him!"

Me: "Being tall doesn't mean a person is older. You're taller than Shawn, but he's older than you."

Him: "humph. I really should be older, though."