Shawn still asks just about every day about grandma. A few days ago, after a particularly stressful moment for him, he even begged me to call her. It just about broke my heart all over again.
Jason has been more stoic. We talk about our memories, but he holds his hurt in more than his brother does; at least he holds it in until the tears escape. We have lots of snuggles and quiet time when that happens.
It has been hard to tell with Jack. It is clear that he misses her, and he has asked to go to her house a few times.
We are in the process of selling her house. The boys were there with me while we went through the process of cleaning it out and getting it ready. For a long time, Shawn refused to go there, or if we did manage to get him in the house, he immediately wanted to leave. He has just recently gotten to a point where he would stay there without a LOT of protest longer than a few minutes. The boys seem to understand that we're selling the house to a new family (Jason is partial to the idea that kids will be there) and that we wont go there any more, but again, it is hard to tell how it will affect them until the time actually comes. We will just have to see.
Because this is the boys' blog, I thought it was important to record how they have been dealing with this huge loss to our family. Someday, when they are older, and they come back here to remember our lives while they were small, I want them to have a small sense of how this time was for them.
