Life in the NICU is pretty difficult. It is hard to watch someone take care of your babies. It is hard to know that right now, you as the parent are not the best person to take care of them. It is hard to not feel like you can do whatever you want to your children--kiss them, hold them, love on them. It is a lot like being a spectator in your own life.

All of those things are hard. But, I remind myself that this is temporary. What is a few weeks in the hospital when we have a lifetime to love and care for them?

We are counting the days until the boys can come home. I had told myself (and most likely many of you) that we hoped they would be home by Christmas. With that being only 12 days from now, I don't know if that will come to be, but I suppose it doesn't really matter when they come home. All that matters is that they do--the sooner, the better of course. We just want them home.

Both boys are getting stronger every day. Even with the infection setbacks, they are getting stronger. It is an amazing thing to know that. They were so small and sick when they were born. They have come a LONG way!

Jason is still chugging along. His weight is now 6lbs and 2ozs. He is on full feeding again, which equals 1 2/3 ounces every three hours. He is also starting to suck in earnest again. He had to learn his sucking all over again because they stopped his feeding last week. He still has to finish his course of IV antibiotics from his infection, but that is pretty much all of the medication he is on now. He also still is on his oxygen cannula.

Shawn is slowly getting better, too. After all of his blood work, we found that the only infection he is dealing with is his lung infection. However, his infection was much worse than Jason's initially and has moved into pneumonia. He is receiving three different antibiotics through his IV to help him fight this (and we expect him to soon). He has started feeding again, too, but they are progressing him at a much slower rate. At the last check, he is only getting 1/3 of an ounce of formula a feeding with the rest supplemented by IV. He has lost some weight because of that and is down to 5 pounds. He will also have to learn to suck again, but the hope is that he will start up again quickly because he was doing so well before. They are also giving him breathing support to make sure that he is getting all of the oxygen he needs while he has the pneumonia. Hopefully the doctors will stop that soon.

I know I haven't had many pictures lately. I was trying to leave the boys alone while they were recovering. We did take some last night and I will post them soon.